We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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