Apparently you make a good broom.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You're breaking my sexual little heart
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
