How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
