I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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