I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
