i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
