so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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