did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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