i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
