there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
