I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
