How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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