Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
