New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
