well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Green mimosas i think yes
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
