so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
