Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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