): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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