My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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