areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
