Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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