Don't you send me to vm
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
