Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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