Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
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It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
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And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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