i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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