Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
