Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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