u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
