you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
