After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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