ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
there is glitter all over my balls
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
