If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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