i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize