I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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