Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
