Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
