The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Randomize
