White coat. Heels.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
