Your mouth is God's brothel.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
