Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
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