Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
