it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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