I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
