Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You are a genius and a whore.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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