I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
she looked like the before picture.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
