HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
someone owes me an orgasm
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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