guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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