So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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