So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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