Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
