I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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