My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
