there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
