Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
