I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
