Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
