Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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