Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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