In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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