We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
this just has baby written all over it
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Randomize
