i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
