you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
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Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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