I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
