Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
