I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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