please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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