i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
