Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
