I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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