my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize