I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
